Using photographs as memory aids.

Photographs of friends and family can be a very useful tool to interact with a loved one with dementia. Just remember that it is better to give them information than to ask them questions.

“Look, there’s Patricia” is a better thing to say than to ask “Who is that?”. The purpose is to try and reignite memories and create a conversation. It is not to quiz them and ask what they can remember. That would only make them feel uneasy and less likely to tell you anything in case they get it wrong.

If it is a picture with a Christmas tree you can have a great conversation about decorations and angels or Santa Claus or snowmen. That could lead to a conversation about favorite foods. You just start and see where it leads.

If the photo was taken at a beach you can talk about seashells and how people collect them as souvenirs. Remind them about picnics or swimming or crab cakes. It doesn’t matter what you talk about so long as you get them to interact with you somehow.

You then introduce the people in the picture. You can say something like:

“There’s John. He looked very handsome in that shirt. He never liked having his picture taken. I wonder where he is today?”

If she replies that he is in school,even if it is definitely not correct, the best thing to do is to go along with it. You can ask her where he goes to school or if he likes school. You could then talk about her own school days or tell her about yours.

Again, the purpose is to have a conversation not to be right about everything.

Photos can also bring back bad memories. If someone had an unhappy marriage, a picture of that spouse could cause distress. If this happens, take away the photo. You can reintroduce it another day and, if it causes the same bad reaction, remove it from the album.

Showing someone a picture of their parents can bring them great comfort. However, if they then ask you where their mother is, it is probably kinder to say you have not seen her for a while than to say that she died years ago.

This will all depend on the stage of the disease your loved one is at. Early on you will get more information from them about the people and places they are seeing. This can also be a great chance to find out things about people that you did not know before. That is the time to write the family stories down for the next generation. Your loved one’s responses will change as their disease progresses. Just be prepared to react differently as time goes by.