What to do when your loved one won’t sleep.

One of the biggest problems for caregivers is when their loved one won’t sleep. This is often the final straw for people and one of the main reasons why they decide that keeping them at home is no longer possible. If the loved one is not sleeping, very often nobody else in the house is either.

We all know that, when we don’t get enough sleep, we get short tempered, less patient and more likely to get sick ourselves. It is just not realistic to think that you can keep on doing this long term when you are totally exhausted. The caregiver has to be able to get some rest.

There are some things you can try when you are in this situation. Like every other situation, you try everything until you find what, if anything, works. Everyone is different so what works for one person may not work for someone else. If it doesn’t work tonight, it might tomorrow.

Some people are restless at night because they are in pain but may not be able to tell you. If they have arthritis it might be that their knee or hip is hurting when they lie down. If you can do something to ease the pain like give them something warm to put on it, or even a painkiller, it may help them to settle. Check with the doctor before giving them any medications.

Having to get up to urinate can be an issue for people. One thing to try in this case is to take them to the bathroom last thing before they get into bed and again after about two hours. It is common for people to have to pee an hour or two after going to bed so, if you can deal with this, it might help them to relax. If they are incontinent, maybe they need their diaper changed early in the night.

People are sometimes unable to sleep because they are afraid or lonely. One way to deal with this is to give them a soft toy or doll to hug and to keep them company. Some caregivers feel that this is treating their loved one like a child but, if it brings them comfort, I think it is worth trying.

The amount of light in the room is important but it is different for everyone. Some people need the room dark while others need light because the dark makes them afraid. Find out what works for your loved one but make sure that there no shadows that they can misinterpret. They may think there is someone in the corner if it is in shadow.

If someone won’t get into the bed for you, let them sleep in their chair or on the couch if that works better. If they insist on sleeping in their day clothes or with their hat on, let them do it. The important thing is that they get some sleep. You can sort out the clothes tomorrow.

Sometimes people try giving them sleeping pills but a downside of that is that it can make them drowsy while they are up and about and more likely to fall or stumble. Talk to your doctor about this side effect before trying that option.

Other possible reasons they won’t sleep:

Maybe they are too hot or too cold.

Maybe they ate too much or they are hungry or thirsty.

Perhaps they slept too much during the day or maybe they are over tired.

Depression can cause restlessness. Most of us have trouble sleeping if we are worried about something or are grieving for someone. People with dementia are no different.

Some medications cause sleep problems. Ask the doctor or pharmacist to check their medications for side effects.

Finally, if this is a new issue, have your loved one checked for a Urinary Tract Infection. UTIs cause all sorts of problems for people with dementia. If there is a sudden change in symptoms, anything from more confusion to sudden anger, the first thing to check for is a UTI.